Changes Worth Making

Recently, I had a very important decision to make in my life. It wasn't life and death situation but was problematic enough because of the urgency of the decision and how it will change my daily routines. Routines give us comfort. It gives us a sense of complacency that we are comfortable with as long as we benefit something from it.

But lately, I have been thinking of the things that were wrong in my life. It seems that despite that being in your comfort zone, it defeats the purpose of achieving your full potential. And it is through challenges and different scenarios where we are improving and adapting the changes needed for us to grow.

Until now, despite my final decision given, i still have doubts at the back of my head thinking of the risk im getting into. But what better way to solve this unnerving doubt with this article posted today :) Read on.

Changes worth making 
by John Maxwell, Philippine Daily Inquirer Posted 03/05/11

Manila, Philippines—Comfort lulls us into complacency. We get accustomed to routine or familiar with a role, so we settle in. As leaders, we must relentlessly challenge ourselves not to let ease and security dissuade us from making the changes necessary to fulfill our vision.

Perhaps the most difficult transition I chose to make as a leader came when I resigned from Skyline Wesleyan Church in 1995. I was perceived as a respected leader within the denomination, and my reputation with the church congregation was stellar. The city of San Diego was a great place to live, and both financially and professionally I was doing well. Yet, I knew that I had not yet tapped into my full potential.

I aspired to train leaders domestically and internationally, and I could not give that vision the time it required while leading the church. It was tempting to let go of my vision in order to stay in a safe and successful position. Yet, I understood that to achieve the growth I desired as a leader, I would have to make the change.

Trading up

Life is a series of tradeoffs. If we’re going to grow as influencers, then at different junctures of life, we’re going to have to let go of what we have to take hold of something better. We must give up to go up.

When we’re just starting out in life, the tradeoffs are relatively painless. Having barely established ourselves, it’s easy to part with our present situation so that we can pursue opportunities to expand our influence. However, the higher we go, the tougher the tradeoffs become. We get attached to what we’ve built and become invested in our success.

To illustrate, consider the process of moving to another city. Relocation isn’t tough when you can pack all of your belongings in your car. However, moving no longer comes as easily when you own a nice home with a big yard in a great neighborhood. The more we have, the more averse we become to change.

I’d like to recommend three tradeoffs you ought to be willing to make in order to reach your potential as a leader. Each involves risk and requires change, but all are more than worth the effort.

1) Exchange affirmation for accomplishment
Stop being a people-pleaser. If you always say yes when you would rather say no, then you will find yourself unhappily going through the motions of living, giving control of your time, energy, and spirit to anyone who asks for it. Fundamentally, leadership involves serving others and adding value to them. However, you do that best by proactively and strategically contributing your strengths, not by passively allowing others to dictate how you spend your time.

2) Exchange security for significance
Security can be tough to pass up. We like the certainty that comes with being in a stable job, making a steady income. Yet, significance usually calls for risk. It involves stepping away from familiar territory in order to explore new lands. To be a pioneering leader, you have to change your attitude toward uncertainty; otherwise you will confine your influence.

3) Trade immediate victory for long-term sustainability
To excel as a leader, you have to change the timeframe in which you view success. If you measure your performance solely in terms of immediate results, then you run the risk of giving up when times are tough. Also, when you only concern yourself with present professional achievement, you tend to neglect relationships, ignore your health, and lose all sense of work-life boundaries.

Summary

Staying the same means stagnating. Leaders must plunge bravely into the future to avoid bogging down in complacency. Rather than fearing change, embrace the possibility it offers.

Great Wisdom from the ever challenging Socrates

Socrates. Whenever we hear his name, we directly associate him to Philosophy. Philosophy in the sense of  what state are we in or how we value our lives unversally. He always talked about on how we perceive our lives relative to the universe. And the greatest and only advice I will always remember from him with our lives would only be:  

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

I never thought that aside from this, he has provided more insightful wisdom that will guide his reader through their lives.

Check this 7 Pieces of Life lessons from Socrates:

1. Be Content

“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have"

This is interesting to think about as we alwyas want more in our lives not knowing that by being able to get what we always wanted will only want more. 

2. Faithful are the wounds of a Friend

“Think not those faithful who praise all thy words and actions; but those who kindly reprove thy faults.”

This is a rather simple yet a profound thought. We are always with people who we enjoy the most and yet we wouldn't know if these guys are the ones who will stick in the end.

3. Study

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men's writings so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”

Although experience is the best teacher, it also won't hurt much if you try to avoid mistakes which are avoidable if you study.  

4. Be by Doing

“To do is to be.”

As the quote goes, “Be the change, you want to see.” Don’t just talk about it, be the example, be the leader. Socrates said, “Let him that would move the world, first move himself.” If you can move yourself, than you will easily move others.Walk the talk. 

5. Gaining a Reputation

“The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.”

 Be, in the dark, the way you want to be perceived in the light. If you can master that, you will never need to worry about your reputation. Socrates said, “It is not living that matters, but living rightly.”

Reputation is one of the most important thing to have in our lives. 

6. Avoid False Words

“False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.”

Exaggerations infect the soul!

7. Beware of a Busy Life

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”

I think this is the most important from all of these
Always remember you should ask yourself this question everyday. The question is, “What am I accomplishing?”Never get lost in the “busy-ness” of life, avoid all of the distractions and attractions.




Article got from Mr. Self Development

A Refresher Course on Pursuing a life with meaning and to Value in Life

Recently, I've been jaded despite having a new line of work. Its not that I'm not enjoying it, to be honest, i really like the type of job I'll be dealing on in the next few moths. But I couldn't help but feel tired and well, bored. I'm not sure if this is the effect if there isn't enough action going on yet or the passion is not that as strong.

Speaking of passion, here's another article I got from one of my favorite columnist/marketing practitioner: Bong Osorio. What the artilces talks about is the commencement exercise speech of Mr. Gabby Lopez III, the Chair and CEO of ABS CBN. It really was an insightful and a back to reality kind of speech where you realize what you should value most. It's more of helping the new graduates see their work (or for the entrepreneur driven- their endeavor) a different and positive way.

Pursuing a life with meaning

by Bong Osorio

The Polytechnic University of the Philippines conferred on ABS-CBN chair and CEO Eugenio “Gabby” Lopez III a Doctor of Humanities degree, honoris causa, at its recent commencement exercises held at the World Trade Center. EL3, as his people fondly call him, was honored for his significant role and contributions to Philippine media and society. In his commencement address — or should I say, storytelling — EL3 emphasized the power of choice and the importance of responsibility, perseverance, passion, compassion and gratitude. Here are nuggets of wisdom from his speech.

On true freedom: Graduation is always a day of freedom — not just the literal freedom from classroom and books, but also your day of freedom to choose your destiny and chart your future.

To illustrate what true freedom is, EL3 shared this anecdote: “One day, the Jesuit priest in India was walking when he met three laborers, all doing the same thing — smashing rocks in the noonday sun. He felt sorry as he approached them. ‘O, brothers, ano yang ginagawa ninyo?’ The first man answered: ‘Father, kita mo naman, nagbabasag ako ng bato.’ The second man answered: ‘Nagtratrabaho po ako para may makain ang aking pamilya.’ And the third man answered: ‘Ako po, tumutulong gumawa ng malaki at matibay na dam para may mainom na tubig ang bayan.’

Different answers for the same job. Yet all of them spoke the truth. Which of the three men is truly free? To EL3, the third one is truly free. He said, “What he saw in his menial job is a heroic purpose — water for his town. He saw something bigger than himself — his love for the people. The second one was okay, because what he felt was modest, but equally important — his love for family. The two men are both tied to the earth, but they are not trapped. The spirit of the third man is free to soar to a vision of the future he was creating. He can fly. The second man has a heart that is free, free to give love to his family. The first one, yung nagbabasag ng bato, is probably a sad person. He sees the truth, but a truth so plain that it is almost a lie, because he cannot imagine.

“The questions you ask after graduation are: Do you want to be the first, the second or the third man? Will your hands be bound to the drudgery of work? Or will your heart be freed by love? Or will you be the best: A spirit freed from the reality of the present by the promise of a future you will make possible for yourself?

The lesson you will soon learn is that reality is what you make it. Invest in imagination. When you turn it into reality, it’s yours to own.

In a way, you are freer than I was, when I was your age. I grew up understanding that I would take on the job of my father, who had taken on the job of his own father. Sure, there was money, but I never felt the limitless freedom and the universe of possibilities before you right now. The road will never be this wide-open again, at any other time in your life. So travel carefully. Freedom to dream is one thing; finding the break for that dream to come true is another.”

On getting a break: “Yung old expression na when opportunity knocks, open the door — yes, opportunity knocks, pero mahina kumatok, kaya huwag kayong umasa. The other expression, ‘Grab the opportunity’ — sure, it happens, but not all opportunities are just waiting to be grabbed. Opportunity is a lot subtler than a knock on the door, or a low-hanging fruit. Finding opportunity is like finding a hidden treasure, but the trick is in knowing what your treasure really is. After all, opportunities have presented themselves to you, way before you get your diplomas. Your opportunities actually began the moment you read your first word, the moment you wrote your first sentence, met the first teacher that inspired you, saw your father fix a car, watched your first anime, passed by the first building that impressed you, or typed on the first computer you ever saw. All of them are opportunities, depending on whatever you become.

“The grace of God is when you recognize those treasures. There are indeed factors that predetermine the breaks you are going to get — your genetics, your country of birth, your family history, your unique family dynamics and many others — but what you do with your available chances in life is always your choice, your blessing or your curse. It’s your power of choice. If you find your passion in a moment of awareness, if God’s voice speaks to you of your purpose — yes na yes! That’s the most important part — to find your passion and to discover your own special genius.”

On not working only for money: “Do what you love, do what you are meant to do, or you will forever be mediocre — in anything you do. Let me tell you a truth I discovered at ABS-CBN, the company where I spent most of my time: in my 25 years in this company, I have learned people don’t work for money. Sure, you need money just like you need air to breathe, but it’s not why you live. At ABS-CBN, people work 12 to 15 hours a day but it’s not the money that drives them, it’s the teleserye that they are creating, or the anime they are producing, or the service to all those devastated by Ondoy. I have found that at ABS-CBN, passion is everything. Without it you don’t have a life!”

On going for a job that builds you long-term: EL3 shared this story: “There was a man whose refrigerator broke down. He couldn’t fix it. Calls a mechanic. The mechanic enters, proud of his job. The mechanic looks at the refrigerator. The man can tell he is no ordinary mechanic because he approaches the ref like Pacquiao facing Cotto. Then the mechanic taps the ref on the side — blag! It works! The mechanic gives the man the charge slip. P5,000. ‘Ano? P5,000? Eh, it only took you one minute to tap it!’ The mechanic folds his arms, looks the man straight in the eye and says: “Sir, it took me only one minute to tap it, but how many years did it take me to learn where, how, when to tap? You’re paying for my years, not my minute.’

“That is exactly what your employers will be paying you one day — for your years, not your minute. Sa rank and file, minutes ang bilangan. Sa CEO, it’s years of leadership, turning imagination to action, creativity to reality, and obstacles to miracles, yan ang bilangan. In the best-selling book entitled Blink, the writer estimates that we can be good at anything we do, only after 10,000 hours of practice.”

“If you can avoid it, huwag lang magbasag ng bato. It can be a change of attitude towards your job, squeezing out of every day whatever opportunity or training you can get from it. There must be a reason you are placed there, since there are no accidents in this world, but do not stay there forever. Huwag kang makuntento. Connect, network, search, Google, study, apply, but move on and move up! Give time to reach your prime — in years, not in minutes. That is the only way to succeed. One of the biggest pushes to success is if you recognize — right here, right now — how lucky you have been so far.”

On embracing an attitude of gratitude: EL3 told this tale: “One day, more than 60 years ago, in a Nazi concentration camp, that infamous place of gas chambers and mass graves, a prisoner’s name was called. The man was told he was about to be exterminated. He cried and pleaded to the Nazi soldiers. He said he had a wife and children waiting. He could not die because who would feed them when the war was over? Suddenly, out of the blue, a stranger came up and said, ‘I will take the place of that man. You can exterminate me.’ And so they exterminated the stranger. He was Maximillian Kolbe, now canonized as Saint Maximillian. The man who was saved received unexpected grace at the most impossible brink of death, from a stranger he did not know, and never got to thank. But to St. Maximillian, it was also unexpected grace, for his passion was to serve God, and he got his wish — immortality instead of dying — living forever as a saint.”

“In a place of cruel, inhuman death, two men found gratitude. Every day of our life, someone is dying for us, not in one instant, but in little increments every day: the parent who forgot his own happiness to work hard for your schooling, the teacher who sacrificed other lucrative careers to share his knowledge with you, the millions of Filipinos who pay taxes honestly, and countless personal heroes. Truly, if you review your whole life thus far, with gratitude, everything — absolutely everything — is unexpected grace. So we honor our heroes, not just by saying thank you, but by living as if every breath is a thank you, by living with honor, by paying it forward now, not tomorrow, not when you can. Now.”

On time and the efficient use of it: Lopez recounted, “The legend goes that when Leonardo da Vinci was painting ‘The Last Supper,’ he needed a model for Jesus Christ. So he looked for the handsomest young man in Milan. He saw it in an educated nobleman named Pietro, who looked perfect for Jesus, a face filled with love and wisdom. Of course, the result was great! Handsome Jesus became the centerpiece of the masterpiece. Years later, it was time for Leonardo to paint Judas, so the painter again searched for the most evil-looking tambay in the streets para pumapel na Judas. Eventually, he found the ugliest criminal ever seen, and brought him to the studio. Then Leonardo became suspicious: ‘Hey, criminal, haven’t I seen you before?’ The criminal bowed his head and said, ‘Yes, master. It is I, Pietro. Many years ago, I was your model for Jesus.’

“Time is a friend to the wise but a traitor to the fool. The world is spinning faster than it has ever spun before. Before you know it, the open road is already leading you back home. Before you know it, the highway has become a narrow street, with almost zero options to turn left, or right, or start all over again. Before you know it, it could be the end of the day. And when you reach that homestretch, believe me, you will ask yourself: Did I live true to my dreams? Or did I just serve the dream of my pharaohs? Did I win hearts, did I lift spirits, did I enrich minds, or did I lose even my own soul? What was I able to give back to the universe? Or did I just take and take and take, what I could not take even to my grave?”

On wealth, power, and fame: “They are illusions of the kingdom, but they are not the kingdom itself. Bear in mind that oriental metaphor of a man riding a tiger — you may be acclaimed as the strongest and the bravest warrior in the village, imagine being able to ride a tiger. But it is very hard to get down, because the moment you do, the tiger may eat you. Ganyan ang wealth, power and fame. They are tigers that can eat their masters. Be careful. As the philosopher Seneca said, ‘Wealth is not the addition of all that you own, but the subtraction of all that you need.’ With that definition, even a beggar is a millionaire.

On the secret of success, of happiness, of the meaning of life: “Whenever I think I already know it, the secret reveals itself to be different. And I am a poor man again, and I line up again to pay my tuition in the school of life. But that is life, isn’t it? We are exactly where we should be, to learn what we should learn, to help a fellow pilgrim, whenever we have the chance. Some people are blessed enough to know fragments of the secret: The third laborer making the dam, the mechanic who can fix by tapping, the Nazi prisoner who became a saint. Maybe Leonardo da Vinci. Maybe even the model for Jesus and Judas. Fellow pilgrim, the best gifts I can give you are some fragments I picked up along the way: Latch on to your passion. Make your own break. Give time to reach your prime. Have an attitude of gratitude. Your reward is when you pay it forward. Be a careful tiger rider. And never, ever give up. And you can be a Jesus, or a Judas, depende sa balbas. Live a life fully, beautifully, wilting and dying — that is the natural order of things. You cannot take gold or silver to your grave. Pursue a life with meaning for God, family and country.

What Wealth can bring you

Let's not fool ourselves, the reason most of us are working is because we want to be rich. And with that money at hand, we will be able to buy things that we like and go places we want to go. Or to some be a step closer to be top of the social ladder. This is the typical things that we can get when we have some cash in hand. (Well, this is to say that these people are already secured with the needs of their family, love ones and their own)

But I saw this interesting article that somehow explains what you can get with wealth in some other countries. Check it out.

The Meaning of Wealth Translated Around the World

by Robert Frank

We like to think the reasons for seeking wealth are universal. Humans, by nature, like to be comfortable, like to have power and like to have the choices and freedoms offered by lots of stuff and money.

Yet it turns out there are some regional variations in the meaning of wealth around the world.

The new Barclay’s Wealth Insights study, released this morning from Barclay’s Wealth and Ledbury Research, finds that the emerging-market rich view wealth very differently from the older-money Europeans and the slightly less nouveaux Americans.

The study surveyed 2,000 people from 20 countries with investible assets of $1.5 million or more. They shared some common themes: a vast majority of rich people from all regions agreed that wealth enables them to buy the best products and that wealth gives them freedom of choice in their life. Most also agreed that wealth is a reward for hard work.

But the differences are more interesting:

Respect

Asians and Latin Americans were more likely (49% and 47%) to say that wealth "allows me to get respect from friends and family." Only 28% of Europeans and 38% of Americans said respect was a byproduct of wealth.

Charity

About three-quarters of respondents in the U.S. and Latin America said wealth enabled them to give to charity. That compares with 57% in Europe and 66% in Asia.

Happiness

About two thirds of Europeans and Americans said wealth made them happy. But it had a greater happiness affect in emerging markets, with 76% of Asians and Latin Americans saying wealth made them happy.

Role Models

Less than half of Americans and Europeans say the wealthy "set an important example to others to be successful." That compares with 71% of Latin Americans and 61% of Asians.

Spending

Wealthy Europeans are far more likely to spend their dough on travel and interior decorating. Latin Americans seem to put the highest spending priority on education, while the U.S. surges above the rest in philanthropy (which the report counts as spending).

We can read several things into the differences. Most obviously, the U.S. has a more formalized and tax-favorable system of philanthropy than the rest of the world. (It is too sweeping to say Americans are the most "generous.")

What is more, the global financial crisis may have tarnished the image of the wealthy -- even among the wealthy. And finally, the longer a country has wealth, the less it craves the attention and respect wealth brings.

*I think the last line says it all, and I think we can all see that in what our society has become and becoming.

5 Traits of True Leadership

On the thousands and thousands of articles you see on the net for some leadership inspiration and motivation and to the John Maxwell and Zig Ziglar leadership advices, i couldn't help but wonder which among theses factors.traits and disciplines should we consider to be part of our lives.

I found this simple article that presented it in the a brief and profound way. I think this is one of the most practical and useful in our day-to-day lives especially dealing with people around us.

5 Traits of True Leadership

In the search for some weightlifting and football conditioning articles, I came upon this website that's really neat. It's like the GQ/Menshealth of the classic american days.

One of the interesting articles that I read about was 5 Traits of True Leadership. This presents a simple, brief and profound thought the essentails of being a leader. The article was based on a 1950, US Military printed small boo that were given to all armed forces officers on how to become better leaders and men.

1. Quiet Resolution

An effective leader has the resolve to see every task through to the end. Resolve is easy to have in the quiet before the storm comes. Resolve is a breeze when one’s commitment has never been tested. It is when the fear, chaos, and stress of a crisis hits that true resolve is revealed. In any situation, there will be an opportunity for retreat, an escape hatch, the chance to shirk responsibility and choose safety and defeat over risk and greater reward. At that moment, the man with quiet resolve does not waffle, he does not doubt the choice that he knows is right. Without the terrible grip of indecision seizing him, he is cool and levelheaded, unflappable in the face of challenge. He is not loud, yelling and frenetically scurrying about in an attempt to cover his lack of grit with useless action. The man with quiet resolution is a man others can feel supremely confident in. While the world around him goes to pot, he knows what his mission is and he calmly fulfills it. He is the anchor in the storm.

How to become a leader with quiet resolution:

Do not wait for a crisis to emerge to make a decision. Inventory your values and goals, and set a plan for how you will react when certain crises arise and important decisions need to be made. DO NOT wait to make you choice until the heat of the moment, when you will be most tempted to surrender your values. Set a course for yourself, and when trials come, and you are sorely tested, you will not panic, you will not waver, you will simply remember your plan and follow it through.

2. The hardihood to take risks. 

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Great achievements come to those who are willing to take risks. A leader who continually plays it safe will never put themselves or the people they lead in a position to experience success. A life without risks is surely alluring; its sweet lullaby of safety and comfort has lulled many a man into the trap of mediocrity and apathy. The weak man stands at the crossroads of decision, tempted by the possible reward and yet paralyzed by the fear of defeat. He is blinded to the fact that even failure brings its own rewards. Without failure a man never comes to know himself, his limits, his potential, and what he is truly capable of. A man who never dares greatly fails to see that he has taken the greatest risk of all: the risk that he will never progress, never refine his soul, never amount to anything worthwhile.

How to become a leader that takes risks:

The fear of taking risks can be very real. You cannot expect to have the courage to take a large risk when you have had no experience taking small ones. So find opportunities in your daily life to take little risks. It could be as small as approaching a stranger and striking up a conversation. Find an activity that frightens you, like public speaking and go for it. As you venture more risks, you develop the capacity to overcome your fear and gain the wisdom to know when a risk is worth taking. You will achieve the mettle to take the big risk when your leadership abilities are truly called upon.

3. The readiness to share in rewards with subordinates. 

A great leader, although supremely confident, humbly acknowledges that no success, no matter how large of a role he personally played in bringing it to fruition, is a wholly solo effort. He is deeply grateful for all those, even those with small roles, who played a part in the achievement. And he understands human nature. He understands that people love to be recognized for their contributions. When a group or organization succeeds, a true leader makes it a priority to recognize both in public and private the contributions of those he led. When a person sees that a leader is humble and will share in success, they’ll be more willing to follow that person.

How to become a leader that shares rewards with subordinates:

Sharing success with the people who follow you can be as easy as offering public recognition or increasing their compensation. A simple thank you card expressing your gratitude for an employee’s effort in completing a project can go a long ways in building loyalty to you and your organization. When offering thanks or giving praise, try to be as specific as possible. It shows the person you lead that you are keenly aware of what they do and makes the thanks or praise more personal and sincere.

4. An equal readiness to take the blame when things go adversely. 

It is when things go wrong that true leaders are separated from the pretenders. The weasel leader will gladly accept the accolades when he and his team succeeds, but will find another individual to take the fall when things get tough. When followers see this, it completely demolishes any confidence and allegiance to that leader. True leaders will take responsibility for all consequences of their decisions, even the bad ones. Even when the results were the fault of a subordinate, a true leader will still take all the blame. Perhaps the leader failed to communicate clearly what the subordinate’s duty was, or maybe the leader failed to match the right man with the right job. After taking responsibility for the results, an effective leader will immediately take action to correct the situation.

How to be a leader by taking the blame when things go adversely:

When taking the blame, you must do so sincerely. Your confession must spring from a genuine belief that you were at fault. To accept blame, but to do so grudgingly, makes you a boy, not a man. Never play the part of the martyr and seek glory for taking the fall. Likewise, don’t take the blame publically, but then tell your subordinates that the only reason you took responsibility was to save their asses. You’ll look like a phony and deteriorate their trust in you.

5. The nerve to survive storm and disappointment and to face each new day with the score sheet wiped clean; 

neither dwelling on one’s successes, nor accepting discouragement from one’s failures. All of history’s great leaders had moments of supreme success and moments of devastating defeat. Great leaders focus on the things they can change and influence, and the past is not one of those things. If you fail, learn from it and then immediately cease to dwell on it. Rehashing the past will not do anything for you. Moreover, the people a man leads will lose confidence in their leader if they continually brood over their failures.

When you succeed, celebrate with your followers, and move on. A leader who continually dwells on past success shows that he has not set his eye on greater things. Additionally, as we learn from the Greeks, a leader’s hubris can quickly become their downfall. Always stay humble and hungry.

How to become a leader by not living in the past:

Read biographies of great leaders from history. By reading about the lives of these great men, you’ll learn that even the best leaders faced enormous setbacks. You’ll gain perspective and come to see that one failure does not mean the death of a man’s capacity to lead. And the amazing feats of the great men of history will inspire you to believe in the powerful influence on history a true leader can wield.

Managing Anger

There is always that chapter in our lives that we got so infuriated because of the predicament we were in. Whether it be a person, the situation or how dissatisfied and frustrated we were, it somehow contributed to how we view things today. It may have cause some trauma or insecurity that will always haunt us if and when that situation ever arises. Here is an article which i find it so much helpful in how we view that experience and may help us in manage ourselves in situations to come.

Turn the other cheek (and gain more)

by: Bong Osorio

We all get to read, personally witness or be part of anger situations. Last Wednesday we saw Rep. Teddy Boy Locsin losing his cool over a Smartmatic official’s explanation as to why the election results transmitted by the PCOS machines had different time stamps, which did not reflect the actual opening and closing times of the polls. We have read of a widow getting angry over the false accusations being hurled at her husband as she grieves over his untimely death, candidates who lost their election bids crying angrily about getting cheated, or a whistle blower challenging the credibility of the polls.

Such situations bring to mind the movie Anger Management, shown about four years ago, which tells the story of a clerk (Adam Sandler) who works hard at his job but can’t seem to commit to a relationship. In the film, Sandler is a generally non-confrontational person until a “behavior snap” onboard a plane. Because of his belligerent manner, Sandler becomes court-bound and is sentenced to attend an anger management class populated with an off-the-wall mix of outraged classmates. A psychiatrist essayed by Jack Nicholson handles the course.

The uncontrolled pugnacious manner of Adam results in a second visit to the courtroom. And as he is about to be sentenced to serve a jail term, he is rescued in the nick of time by Nicholson’s second plea to the judge and his offer to provide a more intensive therapy. He moves in with Adam and takes control of his personal life. As the odd housemates battle over every single aspect of Adam’s life, the embattled clerk is forced to confront and deal with issues he didn’t even realize he had.

• Anger is one of the worst of human emotions. It ranges from a fleeting annoyance to a full-fledged rage. Anger, though, is a completely normal emotion, and is usually considered a healthy behavior. But when it gets out of hand and turns destructive, it can bring untold problems — at our office and business, in our personal relationships, and in the overall quality of our life.

Medical research has proven that anger can kill. It affects our entire being. When our anger rises, our adrenaline flows, our heart rate increases, our blood pressure shoots up, our sweat glands open up and pour, our energy hormones rage and your rational thinking shuts down. Whether caused by circumstances beyond our control or by our own actions, anger can kill our chances of making things go right unless we learn how to “throw it away.”

• Have our emotions in check. How do Filipinos figure in the anger scale? In the absence of any scientific data, and based merely on physical observation, it can be said that the Philippines has become a nation whose collective mood has grown angry. Look at our roads and expressways, our workplaces, the halls of Congress and even our homes, and it can concluded, albeit sadly, that common courtesy has been thrown in the wastebasket.

• Are we as nice as we used to be? Are we more impatient, rude and demanding? Are we in a huff and in a hurry? Check your own actions. You don’t want to wait in line. You want to be ahead of everybody else, you don’t want to cooperate, and you don’t want to be inconvenienced by anyone and anything. You want to have your way and you want it now, like a spoiled brat, demanding a lion’s share of whatever there is to be had. You are openly hostile. You are cranky, out of control, and scornful.

This leads to the questions such as: how is our anger level? Are we still the happiest, “smilingest” race in Asia, or is the “anger epidemic” pervading our milieu so fast, breaking down our renowned charm and hospitality? Maybe we still are considering the extended display of anger in Thailand, an Asian country considered to be our closest competitor in the “smile arena.” We don’t have the answers right now, but if we are not able to provide the antidote to the contagion, expect an escalation of children, adults, politicians, business people, and even religious leaders lashing out, and ventilating a disturbing state of exasperation.

• Move forward with a positive attitude. Author Emmet Murphy identified four origins of anger that we can personally relate to. First is the feeling in our childhood, that we were “born to fail,” and that life has dealt us an unfair hand by virtue of race, color creed, poverty or a mental or physical disadvantage. Maybe our parents could not afford to allow us to wear the clothes we want, eat what we crave, live in a mansion, and go to the best university. Or perhaps a disability prevented us from doing what others do naturally.

Under such circumstances, we may think that we have every right to feel angry. Despite these feelings, however, we can pick a different road to travel. Who says living is easy anyway? Rather than indulge our disappointment and ire, snapping at others even under the slightest of provocation, or getting our feelings entombed inside us, and letting them aggravate, we can move forward with a positive attitude. In essence, we can allow our anger to take control of our lives, or we can choose to take control of our anger.

• Two wrongs don’t make a right. A second source of anger is when thunder roars and lightning hits. Or when an unexpected challenge gets in the way of our ambitions and desires, which can come in the form of an accident, a natural catastrophe or the deliberate malice of a foe. When it does, we usually find our courage tested by a sudden change in our lives that we have no control over. The resulting feelings of powerlessness can quickly turn to rage. We should not compound our misfortune by adding the fuel of anger to the flames. It may result to a bigger crisis. When lightning strikes, bear in mind that two wrongs don’t make a right, two negatives never add up to a positive.

• A mistake is an opportunity to learn and grow. Committing an honest mistake, or doing something foolish is a third source. But getting mad at ourselves when we screw up is only human. After all, we can’t blame just anybody when we make a mistake. The responsibility rests squarely and heavily upon our shoulders. We may be disappointed and resentful, or indulge in self-pity and self-hatred, but these will not help us set things right. In fact, they may bring us bigger problems, and worse, deadlier outrage. Failure can teach us more than success because mistakes test our character, but denying our foul-ups dooms us to repeating them. We must define every mistake we make as an opportunity to learn and to grow.

• Turning the other cheek can lead us to gain more. Betrayal, in any form, is the fourth source of anger. It can make us see red. We should react to betrayal, not with an “eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth” mindset, but with a resolve to move forward unaffected by the treachery. Tough to do, but it can surely protect our lives from further ruin. Betrayal can cause us to commit vengeful acts or to distrust people. It’s a tougher act and to a lot may be easier said than done, but when someone slaps us in the cheek, we’ll gain more by turning the other cheek. We will only multiply the negative emotions surrounding a betrayal if we dwell on it.

• Keep our unpopular emotions such as rage and hatred always in check. Learn how to turn negativities into positive energies, and increase richness in other aspects of your personal and professional lives. Hate is just a feeling. If its origins are fully explored, it will go away. Choose to be happy instead.

Sounds like a good plan right? it'll make our lives easier and better. :)

New Definition of Productivity

I found this great articles for everyone to read on. It's really an eye opener. With how we do things these days, we always equate more work done= productivity. But this article negates that thesis. It simplifies how we do things not just in our work environment but most importantly with our lives.

"a new creed: Simplicity, purpose, focus, silence, and joy."

This is the new creed we all have to remember in being productive.

The Tao of Productivity

by Leo Babuata

In this age of digital communication, we’re busier than ever. And yet, in all of our sound and fury, we seem to have no time for focus, for what’s important, for thinking.

To find this focus, we will need to completely rethink the need for productivity.

Think of our culture’s obsession with productivity: with the need for “hard work” and working long hours to get things done, with the need to be busy busy busy all the time, with the need to make lists and check them off, with the need to juggle countless projects and make more revenue and accomplish more and more. But for what? What’s the point of all this obsession? It leads to burnout, stress, anxiety, unhappiness, greed, confusion, and no time for family, friends, and yourself.

What would happen if we threw all that out the door? What if we said, “I want to get important things done, but the rest can go to hell.”? Let’s create a new creed: Simplicity, purpose, focus, silence, and joy. Let’s make beautiful and useful things, and love doing it.

With this “new” conception of productivity (which is actually as old as work itself), we can adopt some new principles. The principles I propose are inspired by Taoism, a philosophy that has deeply informed my life. I am not a Taoist, nor an expert at it, and many of the things I’ll write below are not exactly in line with it.

Be Content

Be content with what you have;
rejoice in the way things are.
When you realize there is nothing lacking,
the whole world belongs to you.
~Lao Tzu

This is the foundation of the Tao of Productivity: the old version of productivity was founded in the desire for more, to be greater, to accomplish more. But instead, let go of this desire, and realize you already have enough.

If you realize that you have enough,
you are truly rich.

If you’re already rich, do you need to make more money? Do you need to do more and more?

If you’re content, you do because it gives you joy, not because of a desire for more.

When there is no desire,
all things are at peace.

Master Non-Action

The gentlest thing in the world
overcomes the hardest thing in the world.
That which has no substance
enters where there is no space.
This shows the value of non-action.

Teaching without words,
performing without actions:
that is the Master’s way.

This will be the hardest principle to master, I believe, because our old obsession with productivity was an obsession with doing. It helps me to think of nature: it does nothing, it doesn’t hurry, and yet everything gets done.

Why does everything get done in nature? Because:

1. There is nothing that truly needs to get done — whatever happens is good.
2. What happens is a result of the actual nature of things — they will do what they do because of what they are.

Think of how this applies to your work: can you relinquish what you think “needs” to be done? And can you rethink things so that things happen because of what they are, not because you force them to happen? It’s not an easy task, but it can happen if you keep an open mind and contemplate “needs” and the nature of things.

The Master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come.
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.

Relinquish Control

The Master sees things as they are,
without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way,
and resides at the center of the circle.

This is another difficult change: to let go of our need for control. We try to control our environment, control our behaviors, control our minds, control other people, control outcomes. And yet, it’s all an illusion: we have no control over what happens. Things go wrong all the time, plans fail, we fail, and we feel like failures because of it. Because we thought we could control something, and it didn’t happen.

Controlling other people is a huge source of conflict. Stop trying to control employees, co-workers, bosses, team members, loved ones. Let them do what they want, and work with you how they will.

So how do you work without control? It takes time to learn this, but the idea is to let things happen, and act (or not act) within the flow of those events. Let people do as they please, and find calm amid this swirl of activity and people.

The Master allows things to happen.
She shapes events as they come.
She steps out of the way
and lets the Tao speak for itself.

Stop Planning

Other people have a purpose;
I alone don’t know.
I drift like a wave on the ocean,
I blow as aimless as the wind.

This goes hand-in-hand with letting go of control. Stop planning, stop trying to control how things will go and what the outcomes will be. Life never goes according to plan, so why stress yourself out worrying about the future and then worrying about the past when plans get disrupted?

Live in the moment, with no fixed outcome in mind. Let things happen, and be content with what happens. Do work, of course, but do it because it gives you joy.

My system for doing this: The One Thing System.

Because he has no goal in mind,
everything he does succeeds.

Let Go of Success & the Need for Approval

Success is as dangerous as failure.
Hope is as hollow as fear.

What does it mean that success is a dangerous as failure?
Whether you go up the ladder or down it,
you position is shaky.
When you stand with your two feet on the ground,
you will always keep your balance.

Success is something that’s ingrained in our culture, and almost every moment of our childhoods and schooling are geared towards success. But it’s a hollow concept. Who defines success? Why is it so important? What happens when we don’t achieve it? And what happens when we do, and still want more, or realize it wasn’t worth all the effort, and that we’ve wasted our lives?

Keep your feet on the ground. Find balance, and contentment. Forget about “success”.

The Master does his job
and then stops.
He understands that the universe
is forever out of control,
and that trying to dominate events
goes against the current of the Tao.
Because he believes in himself,
he doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
he doesn’t need others’ approval.
Because he accepts himself,
the whole world accepts him.

That quote says it all really. I have nothing to add. Give up the need for approval, and the need for “productivity” fades away.

Do Your Work, & Step Back

Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people’s approval
and you will be their prisoner.

Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.

This is a lesson we have a hard time learning. We do our work, and then need to do more, and more. Instead, step back. You will thank me for it.